Today is the birthday of Imam Yasin Abu Bakr. In celebration of this day, Trini Fake News Jihad correspondent Hijrah Uthman Ibn Abi Talib al-Siddiq sat down earlier this week for an indepth interview with a man who claims to be the most misunderstood and hated man in Trinidad and Tobago – Imam Yasin Abu Bakr.
HUIATAS: I must offer you birthday greetings before we start.
IYAB: Thank you very much. I have been getting greetings from all over the world but it is indeed a pleasure to receive one from a Trinidadian. Those have been rare in the past couple years.
HUIATAS: Which international figures have been contacting you?
IYAB: Well, there is Muammar Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi, Mr. Russel M. Defraitas and Abdel Kadir to name a few.
HUIATAS: That’s interesting. How old will you be on your next birthday?
IYAB: I’ll be 66. That’s a ripe old age for an ex-police officer like myself. Most officers don’t live to be this age you know. These are dangerous times I am sad to say.
HUIATAS: You mention that you were once a police officer, what made you decide to leave the force?
IYAB: The force is too much of an evil place for a man such as myself. The sort of activities that go on in there are just abominable. I left the force and needed to recleanse myself, both physically and mentally. I went to Canada then and met with some muslims there. That was when Lennox Philip was reborn as a new man. That man is the one you see before you today. I am cleansed of the porcine filth that stained me while in the police force.
HUIATAS: How do you plan on celebrating your birthday?
IYAB: I’ll spend it with my family. I am a very family oriented man. I always try to bring all the young boys and girls from the nearby community to my home so that they may be protected from infidels and stray dogs on the streets of Mucurapo. I am going to also drive around and do some community service, such as collecting zakaat, on that day. I also want to spend some time with each of my four wives.
HUIATAS: Well I hope you don’t get in any trouble with the zakaat like last time.
IYAB: [growing angered] The politicians in this country are trying to use me as a scapegoat for all their wrong doings. I am a peacful man. Never have I hurt or cause hurt to come on anyone since I have been Yasin Abu Bakr. As a police officer I did horrible things. But, let Allah judge me for that. Patrick Manning, Basdeo Panday and Ramesh Lawrence Maharaj feel they can send their henchmen to do their dirty work. Muhammed will see to them. They shall be gutted like the filthy dogs that they are. They shall be dragged through the streets like the infidels that they are. INFIDELS…SWINES…DOGS… in the name of Allah the merciful, the compasionate.
HUIATAS:Okay… well that’s the end of our interview Imam Yasin Abu Bakr. I hope you have an enjoyable birthday. Good luck with the ‘community service’. Also, good luck with the gutting and draging stuff.
IYAB: It has been a pleasure. Peace be unto you.